Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Master! Master! Master of Puppets, I'm Pulling Your Strings..

Well, when you're good, you're good.. I've got this Domestic thing down pat..Apple Cranberry stuffed rolled pork roast is on it's way to goodness..I talk a lot! Probably because for 13 years the only people I've had to talk to are kids. I've just recently found myself having more friendships. I never wanted my child to be raised by the nanny, babysitter, or daycare..so I guess it was my choice to close myself off. I thought I was being a good wife and mother for it. It caused nothing but misery and regret. Not at the child raising, but at the relationship part. If I'm anything, it's an excellent mother. It may be the only thing, but I'll take it. As I said, I closed myself off for the kids. God knows nobody else was going to do it or offer anything other than beer drinking, pool shooting, vacations, and a constant military presence. (Left, Left, your Left, Right, Left...Attention.. I've been in the military for 19 years. When I ask a question I want an answer in it's simplest form. Yes or No will suffice!) And when I say vacations, I mean without yours truly. Trips to Mexico, Arizona, Tennessee.. all for fun. I went to Florida for a week once with a friend. Had to take my son with me, which was fine. I got in trouble when I returned home because I went to a club and a trained fire breather had me light a cigarette on his flaming zipper. Not like I sucked the guy off, and I was upfront and honest about it. That got me nowhere. I wasn't spoken to for 4 days. (one of the many day long stretches of silence) I hold resentments deep down. I feel I'm entitled to do that. I gave up a young life to be someones maid, mother, and whore. I even did it with a smile on my face. Revenge is mine..and I'm still smiling..

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