Thursday, April 14, 2011
The OzzFest Coincidence
Back in 1996, I worked at a safety harness company and had a good friend named Kim. Kim and I had a lot in common, liked the same music and everything else, so we decided to get tickets to go to Ozzfest which was coming to Pittsburgh. The morning of the concert, we head out..Kim, myself, Kim's sometimes BF, and his friend..We all get into her beige Ford Tempo and start the 2 hour drive. We start smoking some pot about 1/2 hour into the drive, we're drinking, music up, having a great time..when all the sudden the car starts smoking through the dashboard. We got off at the next exit and pull into a Burger King. Well, we don't know what the fuck to do because we were all halfway to wasted. Next thing we know a car pulls into the spot next to us. Same car. Exactly. Beige Ford Tempo. Same style, same year..exact duplicate. This guy with a limp, his girlfriend and his young, probably 10 year old, daughter get out of the car. He just happens to know a little about cars, so he has us get a plastic bag, some water, and a rubber band from the Burger King. He McGyver's the car enough so that we should be able to drive it and asks where we're headed. We tell him we're going to Ozzfest. Turns out, so was he. So he tells us to follow him there and he'll watch us and make sure the car is ok. We get back on the interstate and a few miles down the road green smoke just starts filling the car. We pull over and he keeps going! So we all jump out of the car and we're just standing there wondering what the fuck we're going to do! All of the sudden, here comes the guy, in reverse on the berm of the road! He yells, put a sock in the window and hop in! So we make Kim's BF take off his sock and put it in the window and hop into the other car. We all get to talking and find out this guy likes pot too, so we're now smoking it in his car. Turns out, the guy is also from the same town we're from... so he offers to drive us home after the concert! We finally get there and there are 3 stages at this concert venue, so there are different bands at different stages throughout the day. The guy who gives us a ride whips out a handicapped sticker, so we end up parked right beside one of the stages. Well, since we were so close, we didn't want to use our tickets just yet because then we'd have to pay $5 per beer, so we stayed outside and drank our own. The bands start getting word that there is a war vet who lost his leg watching from the parking lot, so after they perform, they're all coming over to meet us and taking pictures and signing autographs.. it was great! We finally decide to go in so we can see Ozzy and I but a t-shirt. I had a really cute half top on, so I just tucked the corner of the concert t-shirt into the waistband of my jeans.. Well, I had to pee, very badly. I go to the porta potty, pee, and leave my $35 t-shirt in there. I had the fucking shirt less than 5 minutes. My friend and I see a new band coming up on one of the side stages, so we go get really close to the front. Which was great! Except when the music started, the crowd started to sway and the next thing we know, we're in the middle of a fucking mosh pit getting punched and knocked over..Crazy!! All of the sudden, this hand reaches out and grabs me, I grab Kim's hand, and we get drug to safety. Needless to say, we then had a personal security guard the rest of the night who got us right up front to see Ozzy and Black Sabbath. I ended up dating him for a while after that, quite a nice guy, but alas, distance is no good.. So we survived the day, our new friend got us home in one piece and I have the best Ozzfest story ever now.. You know what sucked though? I bought the fucking ticket to see Marilyn Manson. Just so happens the city of Pittsburgh banned him from performing because he pissed on the crowd at an earlier show.. Just my luck..